Why Daewon?

“Why Daewon?”
By Robin Lee

By my friends and teachers in England I was stabbed, shot and bombarded repeatedly with “Why Daewon?” Now that I have arrived at Daewon, it has become a common feat that new friends I meet would also punch me with, “Why Daewon?” Some would even ask while squinting their faces accusingly and it would feel as if I have committed a crime by coming to Daewon. Often, I was hesitant to answer the question since I myself did not know my exact intentions behind it and so I would reply reluctantly, “After being away from Korea for so long, I just wanted to learn Korean.” I knew that this answer was not sufficient and I knew that I would need to battle my way through to find it.

I think the reason behind people asking me “Why Daewon?’ is fairly simple. They do not understand why I have walked willingly to a hell hole that is Daewon. Daewon is hard: 14 hours of school, lessons after lessons, little sports, crappy meals, drills, stress, constant academic pressure, no time to sleep, no time to play, and worst of all, no time to think. I have come to think that we, Daewon students, are the slaves of the Korean society. We only listen to the master and we work our brains off at school not because we want to but because we are told “Your lives depend on it.” We are no better than a piece of machinery, and we follow the road that the previous generation has set us; there is no diverging path, only a straight line—there are no choices. We live day by day with the mutual goal of going to a good university, finding a respectable job, and then eventually dying.

Having been around Daewon for couple of months, I now know what it feels like to be terribly sleep deprived and to be over-overloaded with work. I have seen my friends weep because they did badly on mid-semester exams. I have seen my friends’ gloomy faces. I have seen them work during lunch breaks. I have heard them saying “I want to die” too many times. These made me realise that all Daewon students are emotionally attached to school grades. All Daewon students have formidable aspirations to go to the top universities. It is a tragedy that only a few Daewon students achieve their goals.

It is somewhat embarrassing, stupid and excessively depressing but I had thought about suicide. I am not sure whether other Daewon students have also felt the same but for me, the sudden change was too much to bear at a certain point. In England, only the students who wanted to work, worked. Only the students who were clever enough even dared to apply to top universities. Most were happy to just go to local universities with average grades. For the cool kids, receiving a D in a subject was something to boast about, not something to cry about. This kind of stress-free education meant happier school life. Unlike in Korea, you don’t die if you don’t get an A!

However, even if I had known all this prior to my entrance, I think I would have still come to Daewon. My ignorant and westernised mind could have not possibly acknowledged the intensity of Korean education, especially Daewon’s. Also, my optimistic attitude would not have helped me to stay away from Daewon either. As an outsider who was completely oblivious to Korean education, Daewon was a prestigious, one of the best if not the best high school in Korea. To be honest, this was my real reason to coming to Daewon, the real reply to “Why Daewon?” However, I have been too embarrassed to state this as my motivation. My fragile and ignorant reasoning would have sounded so stupid in front of my friends.

Does this all mean I regret my choice of coming to Daewon? Definitely not. Although it is true that I am having a more difficult life here in Korea, it feels somewhat more meaningful. I am uniting with my Korean heritage and filling in the ‘Koreanness’ that I lack. I am learning new things not just in lessons but just by being in Korea, being surrounded by its people and speaking Korean. Trivial school routines such as daily bus rides to school and back home, cleaning our classroom in the morning, and going out with friends for dinner are experiences that I never had previously. Singing in front of my class, preparing for debate with friends in a café and looking out at the beautiful sunset and the view of Seoul from the terrace on the sixth floor, playing ‘Truth or Dare’ with Ms. Lee and my GLP class on the day before Halloween ... these are memories that I hope I will never forget. For most of you these might be normal, but for me they are new and invaluable memories to treasure.

I also feel like I am more active, participating in MUN and writing articles for a school magazine. I have realised that I try harder to be happy and to make other people around me happier. At some point, I started to go to school hoping that I would make my friends smile; I wanted to loosen the hardened and gloomy faces my friends and to do that, I try hard to stay optimistic and smile.

There is a law of life that I try to follow: “You create your own experiences.” You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don’t like your school, it’s your fault. If you are overweight and you hate how people make fun of it, it’s your fault. If you are unhappy, it’s your fault.

Don’t play the role of a victim, or use past events as excuses. Act, so that you change your life to the way you want. If you choose the right behaviour and thoughts, you will realise that you are happier.